Canada re-elects Harper – Welcome to “Bizarro World”…

It’s been a strange, awkward, sinking feeling being a Canadian these past several years. While it’s no news that as Canadians we have long struggled to understand our own national identity as a rule (that, in itself, being a defining part of our identity), it is stranger still to have lived through the past 24 hours and had the disheartening feelings I speak of crystallized into real fear for my Country’s future, for the future is now irrevocably Stephen Harper’s.

Canadians have always suffered from a lack of any manifest destiny, and have usually been content with or placated by knowing what we are not (i.e. “I don’t know much about art, but I know what I don’t like.”) An easy example of this would be our comfortable ability to look South and thank “whomever” that there is nothing like a ‘Fox News’ in Canada to poison soft minds and rig elections with. Well, even that’s over now

So, enter Stephen Harper – an impossibility of a candidate for Prime Minister as recently as seven years ago, and this morning the manipulator of a “Majority” Government (not!!) in the greatest country on Earth after two short, disaster-filled “practice runs” as our Minority Prime Minister. All this after an election brought on by a well-deserved Parliamentary vote of non-confidence in his abilities and policies, mind you. Bizarre enough yet?…

Our fateful election happened less than 24 hours after Barack Obama all but slam-dunked a second term for himself as President by killing Osama Bin Laden (film at 11:00!) and performing brilliantly, wittily at the White House Press Corps Dinner. And now, here we sit – in an already rainy, dreary spring – as one of the most hated, evil, duplicitous and misanthropic politicians we could ever imagine goes strongly into a second (third, really) term as Fuhrer. I can tell you it all seems very backwards.

As recently as 2003 many Canadians felt pride in coming from a country that: bravely supported gay rights, had passed sanity-based marijuana reform laws, did not support the invasion of Iraq, did not waste innumerable/unjustifiable tax dollars on militarization, had reasonably comprehensive healthcare for all, and maintained a distinctly progressive approach towards a bright future…and all while we looked South to our American friends suffering a long litany of political/humanist abuse during the cartoonish nightmare of the “Bush Doctrine”. Pretty much all of the aforementioned positivity has already been squelched/undone/reneged on during Harper’s years as a minor PM; one shudders to think what four more years will bring.

Harper owes everything to Bush, literally and figuratively. (He has always been “Bush-Lite”). And he owes it also to our Liberal party, for their timely self-destruction six years ago on the heels of two major “hand-in-the-cookie-jar” payola scandals; nasty stuff at the time, but which in retrospect seem comparatively as “important” as Clinton blow jobs. Subsequently, The Liberal Party of Canada has almost miraculously done every single┬áthing it could do incorrectly in resurrecting itself, including two laughably woeful attempts at even choosing a new leader…(Bon Voyage, Iggy! – don’t forget to not write!!) The Liberals in Canada are all-but non-existent this morning, which…is stunning.

So….Here we are today in downtown Bizzarro World – we’re no longer on the outskirts, and Superman is nowhere in sight!

The United States has a brilliant, capable, humanistic, dynamic, progressive President. And in Canada we are saddled instead with a (pseudo-) Christian demagogue with psychopathic eyes and comic-book hair, who’s agenda is driven by lies and deceit of the first order, and who’s policies stand in direct defiance of all that has made Canada, the “Gentle Giant” a wonderful place to call home. I wonder if this sounds at all familiar to my American friends…

It all feels profoundly wrong today; very backwards and unfair.

And one is left to wondering how such a widely reviled politician who was humiliatingly rebuked as a historic failure in his own House scant weeks ago can march forward to his most resounding victory of his career…


Addendum: Last week it was revealed that Harper’s own Conservatives had compiled a dossier on his most “controversial” quotes, likely in hopes of being able to spin his shit into roses. (It’s about 500 pages worth…jealous, George W.??)

I hadn’t been able to find the actual document…until today; a day late and a dollar short. Anyway, you can find it here also in .pdf format (roughly 17 MB, most of that being ‘Part 3’). If for some reason you can’t download it then feel free to contact me.

Harper’s controversial quotes…all 500 pages!:

Harper quotes 1

Harper quotes 2

Harper quotes 3

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